YOU & I

they're still ringing in my ears, no matter how much i tried to make it stop.
its just so unfair.
and its most unlikely of you to say things like that, let alone question me.
i cant help wonder what has become of you?

i'hv never come between your profession or your friends cause i understand this cold, hard world works that way. we all need our friends as much as you do even though i pretty much know how much negativity they have of me.

and i would appreciate if its the same for me. why was i made to choose? she always had faith in you, talking senses to me for you. she believes in you and she had so much trust for you while i was hanging lose, losing grip of things. she was there saying wonderful things about you while i was about to hit the ground.
she had all this positive things bout you and this is what you feel she deserves after the long run?
i would never question you like that even when i am seen with such negativity, such impression, such hostility.

but i dont blame them. we're all humans. we make impression on stories we hear, things we see and words we read. but unfortunately, those are the things found only from the surface.

i know you kept saying 'why bother what people think of you?'
how could i not? sometimes, ignorant is not that bliss. it hurt people.

so here i am feeling all... alone and unappreciated.
disappointed, sad, shocked, insecurities creeping back to me, maybe a bit of anger from all this unfairness. and down.
pretty much down thats its affecting my health.

and its about to get worst as i struggle to type in this cold when it gets harder to sleep.